Overly personal writing
An essay is an impersonal form. As such it should have very few references to the author. Try to use impersonal constructions more than personal ones, and only mention yourself when it is relevant.
I think the main problem is poverty.
The main problem appears to be poverty.
Obviously, an exception to this rule is an essay in which you are talking about your own experiences. In that case, it is fine to talk about yourself as the subject, but try to distinguish “you the subject” from “you the author”.